Thirty-four , having the above in mind, the things to do are as follows:
Don’ t rush into vaginal penetration .
Thirty-five , let the process of arousal and foreplay be rich and sumptuous .
Thirty-six , take plenty of time to do a good job massaging your wife ’ s clitoris . The clitoris is a finger-like protrusion at the oval joints of the vaginal walls .
Thirty-seven , during foreplay, the man’ s finger should massage gently and continuously on the clitoris . This will after some time take the woman to clitoral orgasm .
Thirty-eight, there are two types of orgasm in a woman, clitoral orgasm, the one she reaches by stimulation of the clitoris .
Thirty-nine , vaginal orgasm, the one she reaches by the stroking of the vagina by the penis.
Forty, the woman should have reached clitoral orgasm and be established in it ever before the man penetrates with his penis.
Forty-one, after the woman has reached clitoral orgasm, by now she is ferociously inviting the man to penetrate her with his penis .
Forty-two, thrusting in and out should be strategic and systematic . By the way , thrusting is what the man does while pumping in and out of the woman during penetration .
Forty-three, in the first two minutes, the stroking should not be in the full length.
Forty-four , the man should penetrate in and out first few minutes with only about one third of his penis in the first few minutes .
Forty-five, this is because as the stroking is going on , the continued friction of the sides of the penis with the walls of the vagina constitute a strong and intensive stimulation to the penis, and this can bring about ejaculation if not controlled.
Forty-six, the strongest point of stimulation usually is the glans penis (the cap of the penis) and the sides of the penis, usually the middle point.
Forty-seven , this is why incomplete thrusting in and out initially is called for . It helps to control the rate of reaching orgasm.
Forty-eight, by this time , the woman , apart from clitoral orgasm, is climbing really high towards vaginal orgasm. She is also even crying out for deeper penetration.
Forty-nine, at this point, the man can now begin to thrust full length, stopping intermittently, just to control the rush towards ejaculation. When you feel that the woman has reached full orgasm, the man can now stroke full length nonstop to drive everything home .
Fifty , how do you know a woman has reached full orgasm? She is saying some nonsensical things and moaning most heavily. Some women will even be salivating, and others behave as if they are being electrocuted . When you see any of these signs, the man is free to drive home and end the process .
Fifty -one, penetration should never be done until the woman’ s vaginal area is all wet with secretions . Any attempt to penetrate her when she is not wet will cause her pain and kill her flight towards orgasm.
Fifty -two, all through from foreplay to full orgasm, the finger should be constantly on the clitoris , stroking and massaging it gently . Some men claim it is inconvenient for their hands to be working while their penis is working . It is something you need to master because that way , the woman can reach both clitoral and vaginal orgasm at the same time . That is what is called full orgasm.
Fifty -three, then wives should open up the lines of communication by mentioning that they want their husbands to have the best possible sexual experience . They can include how hard it can be for their body to continue at some point, so the two of you should try to figure out how to get him to climax better . But don ’ t make him feel that he has failed ( giving him performance anxiety ). More likely , his body has failed him. Ask him to explain how it feels–what is different about before and now. Ask how he would like it to feel. Ask if he is experiencing stress or tension. Just ask questions. Then LISTEN.
Fifty -four , wait for a sufficient amount of time in between. If you are having sex every day or every other day , that may be too often for a husband struggling with ejaculation. Space out your interactions to every few days . Of course, don ’ t go too long. Your body tends to adjust to what it receives , and you don ’ t want the “ new normal” to be too little physical intimacy in your marriage.
Fifty -five, stop masturbation . If the husband has trained his body to become quickly aroused and climax through self-stimulation , it may be interfering with arousal and climax in sexual intercourse. The best way to retrain yourself is to stop the old , harmful habit and replace it with a new , beneficial habit .
Fifty -six, still spend more time on foreplay. The husband can coach his wife toward stimulating him enough in other ways that he feels very close. Find out what he finds particularly arousing . Is it viewing you in full light ?
Turning you on to the point of orgasm ? Receiving fellatio ( oral sex) from you ? Getting a “ hand job ”? ( Use lube , lube , lube!) Get him close, and then get him in. Over time , have him enter earlier and earlier in that process to retrain himself toward climaxing inside you.
Fifty -seven, use lots of lubricant . If a wife is okay with going longer for the husband to ejaculate, she can keep a bottle of lubricant handy . Reapply often and generously because, after ongoing friction, a woman tends to have less lubrication and feels discomfort with continued thrusting . There are many brands of lubricant ( KY, and others) , as well as the natural option of coconut oil .
Fifty -eight, don ’ t worry about his climax. Ask a guy when he’ s done with sex and he ’ ll probably say when he ’ s ejaculated. But it isn ’ t necessary for a man to come to have a great time in the bedroom with his wife. As men age in particular, they may find that there are those times when the length of time it would take to ejaculate isn ’ t “ worth it , ” so to speak. The husband can still enjoy the physical closeness with his wife and walk away happy even if he doesn’ t ejaculate. You don ’ t have to reach the peak every time to enjoy a beautiful hike up the mountain . Taking the pressure off may actually have the effect of making it easier for the hubby to achieve orgasm , since performance anxiety could be a factor — whether primary or secondary .
Fifty -nine, be patient and kind as you approach your husband about his sexual performance . Let bygones be bygones and work toward protecting, trusting , hoping, and persevering with each other.
My continued blessings for this reader and all those who struggle with sexual problems in their marriage .
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